Bugs Bug Me

by Tabitha Kidwell

“I’d really like to know more about all the bugs living in Tabitha’s house.”

Said no one ever.

So if you aren’t into bugs and other gross stuff, you can watch this cute cat video instead.

Still here? Okay… so I totally thought I was winning the war against the vermin in my house, until I got back from Singapore last Sunday night, and as soon as I walked in, I had to immediately take off both shoes so I could kill two cockroaches who had made them selves at home in my absence. Then this guy was hanging out in my bedroom:

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Luckily I’ve seen this one before, and when I googled “Gross black bug java pincers stinger” last year I found out it’s called a “false scorpion” or a “vinegaroon” – the first, because it is totally harmless despite that stinger; the second, because it smells like you’re dying easter eggs when you smash it.

Since then, my usual one cockroach per day fatality has been up to two. And the ants are getting a little out of hand. I leave an empty sugary tea cup out for 5 minutes and it’s like Golden Corral. And look what they did to one of the cockroaches I killed:

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Lastly, this huge spider spun a giant web in my front yard:

Not the best shot, sorry

Not the best shot, sorry

I thought she was totally beautiful, but anything that brightly colored has to be poisonous, right? I was leaving her there as a kind of experiment, until I realize how bad it would be if she wasn’t there one day and I didn’t know where she had gone – or if she laid eggs! So she had to die:

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So the war continues, but I really only need to hold them off for 3 more months… I think I can make it. Then they can regain sovereignty.

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